Have you ever felt that something/someone is holding you back from moving forward? Be it in the past or present.
Have you felt that no matter how hard you try that “thing” continues to tug and pull , telling you that you can’t do it, you can’t make it or you are not worthy of having it
Have you let it take so much control over your life that you have become a “different” person. One that you know is not your character or plain and simple “that you are unhappy with”
This is "YOUR" bondage breaker moment...
You must break the bondage
You can break the bondage
You will break the bondage
You should break the bondage
BONDAGE is defined as:
REPRESSION
SUPPRESSION
OPPRESSION
Do you see what one thing these have in common…….the
suffix “PRESSION”
In lament terms it is considered the
stress, drama, havoc and chaos in your life that can lead to
D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-O-N
WHAT ARE SILENT TEARS?
Silent tears are defined as a soft and solemn cry that no one hears but can be very visible. One that is felt throughout your entire body from the depth of your soul to the bottom of our toes. You want to share but you are scared. You look around for help but no one’s there. No one will understand. You want to resist the embarrassment and negative comments so you hold it all in. It sometimes takes full effect and controls your actions towards self and others around you. Through your heartfelt cries, you yearn to understand the infamous three letter conjunction “WHY” me?
Many things/reasons have caused women to cry…… “Silent Tears”
Family, Children, Friends, Relationships/Love, Death of a
Loved One, Life, Work, Environment/Community, Past,
Present and Future
Let’s take a closer look to see how
FAMILY
Have you experienced…
q Parents who did not know how to show genuine compassion and care towards you. You rarely or never received a hug or heard the words “I love you”
q Family members that always critiqued/criticized everything you did as a child and/or adult
q Being told that you would not amount to anything in life
q Quality time was never a priority
q Verbal, physical or sexual abuse that left you scared on the inside and out
q A feeling that you are now a “replica” of your past experiences due to negativity
q Separation/disconnect of siblings and/or other family members
q Harsh words from your mother about your father who was never there to defend himself and vice versa
q Witnessing your mother being abused by your father (the man you admired immensely)
q Finding out the truth of being adopted and wondering the whereabouts of your biological parents and why they would leave you
q The non-acceptance of your lifestyle
CHILDREN
Have you experienced…
q Wanting a better life for your child than you had growing up but don’t know how to convey/initiate it
q The lack of respect for you as the parent/guardian from your child
q The witnessing of them wanting to grow up before their time while choosing not to follow your rules
q The unexpected loss of a child
q A child that has become a part of the societal plagues and have became imprisoned, pregnant, into drugs/crime or members of a gangs
q The non-caring attitude about their lives. They live for the present moment only…not the future
q Resentfulness towards you and your disciplinary actions
q You strive to instill good morals and values yet they make unwise choices based on their peers and so called friends
q After giving them your all, they are not appreciative for anything
q Obtaining a good education is not on the top of their priority list therefore they find reasons not to go to school
FRIENDS
Have you experienced…
q Jealousy (those that always compete and are never happy for you)
q Betrayal (those who have had an affair with your boyfriend or significant)
q Hurt (those that have been deceitful, talked about you to others and do not have your best interest in heart)
q An argument that has demolished your authentic friendship
q You always seem to be the one to mend the broken pieces when you both are well aware that the situation at hand was clearly no fault of yours but the blame is put on you and now you feel bad.
q The feeling of just wanting your true BFF back in your life
RELATIONSHIP/LOVE LIFE
Have you felt……?
q He/She does not love me
q He/She is being deceitful
q Why is he/she treating me this way
q I love him/her more than anything in this world
q I have to deal with the other woman in his/her life
q I am a good woman you know; at least that’s what I think
q I am in the mirror now looking at ways to make him/her happy so that they will stay/or come back to me
q I have to prove to them that I am worthy
q I have no other choice but to stay and deal with the stress
q He/She is abusive but that’s just when they’ve had too much…he/she loves me though
q No one really understands what I am going through
DEATH OF A LOVED ONE
Have you ever asked yourself or stated…
q Why
q It should’ve been me
q I will never see him/her again
q What am I going to do
q They never said good-bye
WORK/PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT
Have you felt or been told…
q That’s not what I asked you to do
q You do not follow directions
q You are on my clock and will do what I ask, when I ask (belittled)
q Anyone knows how to do that…why don’t you
q What are you good for
q You’re fired for offering suggestions to enhance the business
COMMUNITY/ENVIRONMENT
Have you ever thought to yourself…?
q I have to stay here because I can’t afford to live anywhere else
q The area is unsafe so much that I am afraid to go outside
q They do not keep the place nice and clean
q There’s too much chaos and crime
q Is there anything at all that I can do to change it
THE PAST
You’ve been…
q Lied on
q Cheated
q Talked About
q Mistreated
q Battered/Physically Abused
q Molested
q Neglected
q Used
q Scorned
q Up
q Down
q Hurt
q Angry
q Emotionally Sick
THE PRESENT
Have or are you …
q Dealing with the wrath of the recession
q You’ve lost your job
q Clothes and food are scarce
q Employment search seems never ending
q Bills are piling up
q Bill Collectors are calling
q You are struggling day to day
q You receive little/no assistance from your child(ren’s) father
q You have to be the miracle worker and fix everything
THE FUTURE
Have you felt or questioned …
q Do I deserve it
q I am not smart enough
q I am not good enough
q They will feel sorry for me and just give it to me
q They told me that I can’t, so I feel that I can’t
HOW DO I GET THROUGH THIS
What is the key to breaking the bondages to experience a better life?
q P.U.S.H. – Pray Until Something Happens
q Identify the things which has affected you and caused your “Silent Tears”
q Take your “life” back into your hands
q Choose to “live” for self
q Choose to be “happy” for self
q Accept the past and search for ways to make a comeback…become a better you
Ø Look for local support groups
Ø Read self help book
Ø Talk to someone you are able to trust and can count on
Ø Partake in fun activities or hobbies
Ø Make a successful plan for your life
WOMEN RESOURCES
q Girlfriends Pray – A powerful and diverse group of women that pray every morning @ 7am and in the evening @ 10pm. Call into (712) 432-0075 Enter Access Code 128845#
q National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-SAFE (7233)
q Substance Abuse Hotline 888-235-8965 (24 hour)
q Clothing Closet (301) 281-1625 (Free)
q Prince Georges County Public Library (access self help books)
A WORD OF ADVICE
Remember, that collectively we are able to rise above opposition, take control of our lives, strive to achieve all that you are
God allows us to go through test to learn to trust him have faith and when he sees us through to have the ability to create that UNITY puzzle by helping your sister the same way he helped you. With love, patience and encouragement.
Don’t let your purpose in life become lost/resilient within you.
q I thought I could have saved her/him
